SexSexSex
Copyright 2006
Don Jyovi Saraswati Di Morgese
It's a bright bright sunshinee day in Montreal, Canada, but here in Tibet, it's nighttime, the full moon is out, and the Grand Sage and Ancient Chinese Philosopher Co Ming Soon is on the outdoor stage. He's awesome...tall, slender Chinese... with a thin mustache, long and braided, that reaches all the way down to his chest (how do they do that?!)... wearing a conical Chinese style hat... his hands folded inside the loose sleeves of his impressive black robe with red bordering and a shiny golden dragon embroidered across it's entirety...
One of his hands comes out, showing really long fingernails, about three inches, raising slightly in order to make a point, slanting his eyes and growing a broad smile, says to the audience with a soft voice and Chinese accent...
"Aahhh yesss... Oh Kindest People!
Pleassse ahhllow mehhh to introducssse...
Da Mastuhh Enlightenuhh of Universssse,
Aahhh yesss... Oh Kindest People!
Dohhn Jyovi Sssarassswati Di Morgessssse...
aahhh yesss!
Da Aussspicioussss Mantrahhmahhn,
Aahhh yesss... Oh Kindest People!
Mistuhh Cool Breeze Mohhhgeeze
aahhh yessss ...as he has yet... anuhhthuhh thing fohh you...
sohh without fuhhthuhh ahhhdooo"
I came on the stage and said
"Thank you, Grand Master Co Ming Soon...Thank you, Oh Kindest People!
Ahem...
It's a beautiful night, the Gayatri Fire Ceremony is about to begin and I feel finer than a frog's hair split four ways and polished...hahaha"
Someone from the audience yells " Hey! don't you know any other jokes?"
Bubba and Beebo approached the heckler, got on either side of him, lifted him effortlessly off of the floor and then proceeded to carry him out of the auditorium. Bubba said to Beebo "This gig is really great! we oughtta be able to save up enough money to finally open up the Freakie Fries Hot Dog Joint. Now don't mess up Beebo." and Beebo replies " You got that right Bubba...why I could just taste those delicious fries right now as we speak!"
I continued talking to the audience.
"You may address me as 'Your Horniness' hahaha...
and I will be hearing confessions after the Ceremony...
Please, Oh kindest people!...
only your naughtiest sex stories along with pictures and videos would be even better...thanx, hahaha
and I'll be accepting donations of ice cold Yeungling beer too!"
and then I said.
"Ahh yes! Oh Kindest People! My sermon today is on revelations.
I continued "Ah yes! tonight is 060606! and we will celebrate like gangbusters!...Let me tell you how it happened...
Now Apostle John was enjoying a few brewskies and I believe he had a few by the time he began hearing voices...actually from the motel room next door...where a couple was enjoying some sex....where he overheard her say "give it to me! you beast you! I want your sex!...sex!!...sex!!!" she said to the beat of the bed's pounding against the wall, each thrust growing louder than before... and then after the commotion and all the yelling and screaming was over...during which it must have sounded to poor John, being a celibate and not familiar with lovemaking, like it was the end of the world... whereupon things got quiet and she said, finally "you naughty devil you! you left your mark on my neck!"
So... oh kindest people!...like the bible says we should have sex! lots and lots of sex! have it in the bed, under the bed, hanging from a chandelier, hanging out the window with tits a floppin and butts a flexin! hahaha!
lots and lots of sex for everyone hahaha!
Let the fire Ceremony begin!
ahh the hell with the ceremony
Let's party!
Grand Master Co Ming Soon uttered some Sanskrit words and, out of the blue, there appeared a group of old men...a Polish polka band! playing and singing "Roll Out the Barrels...roll out the barrels of beer...roll out the barrels...roll out the barrels of beer"
and a good time was had by all!
====
Footnote
oh kindest people!
Fire Ceremonies are really powerful tools for spiritual advancement...fulfillment of desires...enlightenment
I make fun of it here as part of my play at humor...but really, I strongly recommend it.
and anyway
I can do a fire ceremony anytime... but getting laid?! yep the fire ceremony can wait...hahaha
here's a simple recipe for fire ceremony
just start off imperfectly and perfection can come with time
fire: candle, incense
water: to dab on your forehead, neck, your chakra points, as you are chanting various Sanskrit Mantras and prayers
a photo, drawing or statue of your favorite diety
an offering: I like M and M candy myself